A Father's Story - page 26

A Father’s Story – page 26

Written on September 19^th, 2012

Much has happened since I last wrote and I have decided not to go into extreme detail as I have in the past, but to give an overview of some moments in our time instead.

First of all, we have experienced not only the 6^th month anniversary, but we are just days away from the 1 year memorial. During this period of time, much has happened.

March 23^rd, 2012 the 6^th month anniversary – which we invited a small group of very close friends, Jonn’s closest friends, and a few members from the ROTC. These were the men who attended to Jonn as they awaited the arrival of the paramedics. We all met where the cadets would access the road, and from there, we walked all the way in.  The entire family was there; Paul and Sabrina, Kristy and Mackenzie, Michelle and her kids, Ana, Robyn and me. We were also blessed to have Val and his youngest daughter Allison, my Cousin Mary Kaye, and my cousin Colleen (the upstate New York colleen) with us.

From the cross, we all went up to a restaurant which was owned by the grandparents of one of Jonn’s friends. Their restaurant had lost its lease and this was their last weekend being open. In an odd sort of way, it was nice to be with Jonn’s friends on this 6^th month anniversary, but we are reminded as well that Jonn is not with us, and seeing his friends hurts.  It is a hard fact to accept that their lives continue and while I am positive that they feel the loss of Jonn, as his father, they cannot begin to understand the loss that the family is experiencing.

Quite often, the families who lose a child often look at what they did not get to experience, such as their child’s graduation, jobs and promotions, weddings, buying a home and of course the grandchildren. All of these are painful reminders of your loss when you see others experiencing these events. Seeing Jonn’s friends are that reminder. Jonn’s friends going to college. Jonn’s friends coming home and having fun.

There are however two ways to look at this. You can look at it and say that we will never be able to share these joys with Jonn, and that Jonn himself got cheated out of living a full life.  Then again, you can look at it the way I am looking at it. With life comes a lot of heart ache, stress, sometimes depression and anxiety, but Jonn was not cheated out of life because he died at 18 years of age. Jonn was given a special pass that said Jonn, you do not have to endure life here on earth, you get a speed pass, just like the people who are at Disney Land. Jonn, you do not have to stand for hours under the blistering sun just to get on a ride that only lasts for a minute or two, Jonn you get to move right to the front of the line and ride and jump on that ride. But better than the Disney speed pass which is only good for one ride at a time, Jonn is on the best and most exciting ride ever up in Heaven.

In a selfish way of thinking, it is not fair that Jonn was able to get to Heaven ahead of all of us. This then raises the question: Why do we have to be stuck down here for such a long time when Jonn was able to go up to heaven so fast. Why was he allowed to be spared the pains and turmoil found here on earth, especially the pain of being a parent who lost their child.

Here is an answer which Ana and I hold onto as to why:

Isaiah 57 ¹The righteous perish,
    and no one takes it to heart;
the devout are taken away,
    and no one understands
that the righteous are taken away
    to be spared from evil.
² Those who walk uprightly
    enter into peace;
    they find rest as they lie in death.

We have met a number of parents whose son or daughter have died and their story is just like ours. They all seem to have nearly an identical personality as Jonn. Could it be that God did have a hand in Jonn’s death because God wanted to spare Jonn and the others from evil? Is this why Jonn died? If so, it shows even more how loving God is, that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil.

Still, knowing where Jonn is and how great his life is in eternal Heaven does not take away the pain that we deal with every day. How could we ever stop missing Jonn’s physical presence or stop missing his voice or smile?

April 8^th, Easter Sunday is a day that was equally as hard as the other landmark days. I kept telling Ana that we had to put all of our focus on Jesus because Easter Sunday is the day which completes all of the prophecies about Jesus. It is because of Jesus resurrection that we know that Jonn is in Heaven. And because of this absolute fact, we need to give thanks for what Jesus has done for us. Without His death and resurrection, without Jesus taking the punishment for all of our sins, and because God places the faith in Jesus upon our hearts, Jonn is without any doubt alive and in full Glory up in Heaven. Because of that fact, how can we not focus our eyes upon Jesus.

The morning did start early as Ana, myself and all of Michelle’s family went to the Sunrise Easter service at Vasquez Rocks. 5 local churches put on a beautiful service but the only catch is, we had to be in our seats by 4:30am, for a 5am service.  Thank God we only live less than 2 miles from the rocks.

From there, Ana, Robyn and I headed to our church for Easter Breakfast and then Easter service with Holy Communion. Paul and his family, Kristy and Mackenzie, Michelle and her family join us at our church.

Now this has a huge special meaning because our Pastor told us that when we participate in Holy Communion, all of those in Heaven are at the communion table with us, including Jonn. With this knowledge in hand, and it being Easter Sunday, you can only imagine how important this moment is to Ana and I. We are all gathered together, celebrating the resurrection of Jesus, and participating in Holy Communion with Jonn (in heaven). His first Easter in Heaven.  It is all so emotionally powerful. After church, we all go  to the Olive Garden for Easter lunch.

Later in the month was our 22^nd wedding anniversary. We did not do anything for our anniversary and because of all of the flowers that we received right after Jonn passed, I did not get Ana any flowers. I was at a loss for what to do. Two days later was my 52^nd birthday and while I never celebrate my birthday, I always acknowledge the traditional Happy Birthday from Michelle, Ana, Robyn and Jonn. I was quite adamant this year that if I never celebrated my birthday while Jonn was alive, I definitely did not want to celebrate it this year to the point that I did not even want to hear “Happy Birthday”.

May 3^rd was the next major moment is with the West Ranch High School volleyball senior night. Coach Brian reached out to me and asked if I could come.  Given what happened with the Girls volleyball night 3 weeks after Jonn passed, I was not certain how I would feel, but I knew that Ana and the girls would not be able to attend.

So off I go, trying to be prepared for the unknown. As I walked into the gymnasium, I did not see any posters hanging, which was a huge relief.  As I make my way to the top of the bleachers, my eyes scan the crowd to see who is there. I am cautions and very guarded at this moment. 

Just moments after I sit down with my back up against the wall, I see a few people who are aware that I am there. The first to approach me is Coach Brian.  He walks up to the top before I can make my way half way down to meet him.  We exchange greetings, he thanks me for coming and then hands me something that had never been used when Jonn was playing volleyball. This year, for the boys volleyball season, they had bulletins or program guides with pictures showing who the players are. They did this for the Freshman, Junior Varsity and varsity teams. But what was even more special was that each player wore the T shirt which the girls volleyball team had made up, the one with the caricature picture of Jonn. But that is not all. The entire year was dedicated to Jonn’s memory and the front page of the bulletin/program has a picture of Jonn.

Wow, this was unexpected and I am caught off guard. Right after that, the mothers and a few fathers come and say hello. And sure enough, I fall apart.  I did not expect to be so emotional since I have been doing such a great job at maintaining composure over the past months. Yes, I still shed tears every now and then, but it has always been in private. This time the flood gates open wide. I could not stop the tears at all. It was hard and I stay for all three games.  When everything was over and Coach Brian was talking to the team, I went up to them, interrupted the post game discussion, and thanked the entire team for their continued support in memory of Jonn. After that, I went home with a few extra bulletins for the family. I was emotionally drained, and I went there thinking that it was going to be a piece of cake.

Mother’s Day was a day that without any question, very hard for Ana. Actually the days leading up to any benchmark date are actually harder for her just because of the anticipation of the upcoming event. So for a couple of days before Mother’s Day, Ana’s strength dwindles. When Mother’s Day arrives, we go  to church, and then after church we all go to Marie Calendar’s with all of the kids (Paul, Kristy, Michelle and Robyn) and their families. Ana’s mother and father join us as well. It is emotional, we remember Jonn (of course we remember him), and then after lunch, Ana and I head over to the memorial cross. If anything else happened, I am lost because I just cannot remember as well as I used to remember, before Jonn passed away.

May 27^th, the day before Memorial Day. Memorial Day is a day to remember those who have fallen while serving their country. Jonn was not officially in the Air Force, but he was in the ROTC and he died while in training, so we count this day by including Jonn with all of the others who died while serving their country.

We head over to the cross with additional tools in hand because I am going to drill two small holes and insert two USA flags. I wanted to have the flags in place for Memorial Day.  The next day after Memorial Day, I return to retrieve the flags.  I go all by myself, which happens a couple more times over the upcoming months.  I do this whenever I am at the airport since it is a 5 minute detour.

Our next big moment is actually a huge moment. On June 5^th, I head to Michigan for my work, and Ana and Robyn are right behind me (separate airlines though). This is a monumental trip since I am originally from Michigan and Jonn and Robyn have never been there. Ana was there only once, shortly after we got married in 1990. This is monumental because we are finally going home and Jonn is not with us.

Michigan is filled with a lot of my extended family from my mom’s side. Three aunts: Bunnie, Beverly and Beth Ann, four uncles: Don, and through marriage are Tom, Mike and Jerry, and my Michigan based cousins of whom you have heard of the first three: Colleen, Allison and Laura, plus Holly, Chris, his wife Cindy and their little boy Hobie, and Michael.

I could go on and on about this trip, but here is the most important thing to know: Our weather was absolutely beautiful the entire time we were there (just shy of 2 weeks). We had a family picnic at my Uncle Don’s place, a bar-b-q at Laura’s house, a family gathering at Beth Ann’s house (the family business – Sayles Studio), we went on a couple of the Oakland county lakes, spent every day and night with family, took a long drive and boat ride to Mackinaw Island, went sailing on Lake Michigan, never experienced any humidity and best of all, I got to see the girls nearly every day. One night we even spent the night at Laura’s house which meant getting to spend the evening with my girls, Colleen, Allison and Laura.

There are so many things that we did which would fill dozens of pages, but one of the greatest aspects of t he trip was experiencing the unconditional love from all of my aunts, uncles and cousins. Even without our trip  to Michigan, all of these people that I have mentioned have been constantly reaching out to us from the onset of Jonn’s death. Phone calls, cards, prayers, emails and the likes.  They have been there more than any other family member from either my side of the family or Ana’s side of the family. But I need to add that on Ana’s side of the family, she is not without her share of support. She has a couple of cousins; Robert, Arlene, and   who have continued to support Ana by way of; coming out just to visit with Ana and not seeing any of the rest of Ana’s family, continuous phone calls, cards and emails.

There is something however that has been coming from my aunts, uncles and cousins that just is so different from almost everyone else. Perhaps it is because they have experienced this before, 10 ½ years ago when my beautiful cousin Kathleen passed away. Perhaps their own personal journey of grief has enabled them to be more compassionate than most everyone else. But then again, they have always been very loving towards me from my early childhood, and they have been so entwined in my life that I know that their expressions of love are not mainly because of their walk from Kathleen’s death. Every time Beverly and Bunnie come out to California, we always get together and their visits are filled with love for me and my family. They have always been so accepting of Ana, Robyn and Jonn and always show a deep sincere interest in their lives. Ana has always talked about how nice and loving they are, so I know that this goes well beyond any grief based experience from Kathleen death.

Ana and Robyn have not stopped talking about the trip to Michigan and my family over there. Just like how they continue to talk about how they have been affected by the girl’s and Tom’s visit to California back in December. They want so much to spend more time with them and continue to talk about how nice everyone is.

I am so proud of my extended family in Michigan. I am so proud of how much they show unconditional love and acceptance. I am so blessed to have them in my life and I only wish that Jonn could have experienced this same love from them. He always enjoyed it when my aunts and uncles came to visit. He really enjoyed the time he got to spend time with Michael and his twin brothers Christopher and Joey. He was so excited when 10 years ago, he spent 2 weeks with Colleen, Allison and Laura.  He spoke on the phone with them several times and really loved the connection with the Michigan family.

When my aunts and uncles would come to visit, Jonn would sit with all of them, listening with intense interest. He was able to show his enthusiasm towards them and their stories and engage in their dialogue with great fervor. Jonn’s love for family was met in equal return by their love for us.

As much as we enjoyed our time in Michigan, we were equally sad because Jonn could not be there with us. It was a reminder that our life was continuing without him. It was a reminder of things that I could never share with him. But then again, Jonn has bypassed the waiting line here on Earth and has been whisked to the front of the line. Jonn is enjoying his new life in heaven and is not missing anything that we have here.

Heaven, as described in the Bible in its best descriptive ability, is beyond what anyone can imagine. John, in Revelation 20 does his best to describe what Heaven will be like, but it still falls short because we cannot even begin to imagine the reality of Heaven. So as sad as we are that Jonn was not able to see the beauty of Michigan, the hundreds of lakes, the Great Lakes, and the time with my family, Jonn is enjoying a life which far surpasses anything we have here on Earth.

But for those of us who remain in the waiting line, we are filled with God’s blessings everywhere we go. My family in Michigan is proof of that. The beautiful perfect weather in Michigan was proof of that. The way the trip unfolded before our very eyes and the entire timing of the trip is proof of God’s continued blessings. So we give thanks  to God for providing us with His love and comfort. He is healing us on this “Journey through the valley of the shadow of Death”  (23^rd Psalm), and it gives us hope that one day the pain will not be so hard. But God also warns us that just because we are His people, Christians, saved by Grace alone, we will not be without troubles. And when these troubles fall upon us, we are to look at God’s blessings and know that he will deliver us out from the darkness.

To wrap up our Michigan trip, I cannot thank my family enough for the love they showered us with. My family in Michigan has always been very special to me and it is easy to see why. I love all of them beyond any form of measurement.

Our return from Michigan was just two days before Father’s day. On that day, Father’s day, we attended church as usual and then went out for lunch with all of the kids as well as Ana’s parents.  There is unfortunately a bit of sadness for my father-in-law because he wants so badly for his family to be together. The reality is, I do not see that happening.

The "Big issue" early on has gone on for so long that I do not see any resolution. I have tried my best to bring a resolution with no lUck. But that’s ok! I did not marry Ana to be with her family, I married Ana to be with her for the rest of my life. We go one with our lives, living a life which includes those who came and supported her and our kids. We have moved forward, even if it means moving forward without those who have disappeared. We do not sit and wait for them to catch up. If they do not want to walk this journey with us, then that is their choice.

For my father-in-law’s desire to see his family come together, I feel sad for him because I know how much it means for him to have all of his family around him. I truly wish that something could be done for him. But at the same time, I will not have my own family around me on Father’s day. At least my father-in-law has the hope that this division will someday go away. For me, I will have Father’s Day after Father’s Day without Jonn being with us. A reminder of his eternal absence!

June 23^rd is the 9 month memorial anniversary. This one hits harder than the others because it is a reminder that we are approaching the 1 year mark. It is amazing how fast time is going by and it causes to look back , and see that we have gone this far without our son.  It is a hard hitting fact for us to handle.  Death as I said before has been in this world since Adam and Eve, so as much as we are aware of death and as long as it has been in this world, each individual death is felt as if it is the first loss in the world. That is how it affects those whose love is as deep as the bond between a mother and a child.

It does not matter how many billions of people have died since day 1, it only matters that the mother’s child or father’s child is the only death in the world that matters. But as time moves on, you slowly step out into the world and see others who are in a new loss of a loved one. Slowly but surely, the path that we are on slowly reveals its self to be a well worn path, worn by those who have started this same journey before us. And as we move along on our walk, we grow stronger and stronger with each step. There are the times when we find another hill to climb, and on some of those hills, we slide back a bit before we can regain our footing, but we can only regain our footing when we take hold of God’s word, and grab the hands of those who reach out to us.

After being on this journey for a while, we see that others are joining in behind us, and we then become the guides and the ones who reach out behind us to pull the newcomers along. We understand what they are going through and from our understanding, we are better able to help those who are fresh onto the Journey through the Valley of the Shadow of Death (23^rd Psalm).

July 4^th is another reminder of Jonn. Kristy and Jeffery’s new house is right over the Rose Bowl, where they do a spectacular fireworks show. Last year, while looking at the remodeling they were doing, Jonn suggested that we should go to their house this year to watch the fireworks. So that is what we did, taking Jonn’s advice, watching through their living room window, Ana, Robyn and I joined Jeffrey, Kristy and Mackenzie for the 2012 Rose Bowl fireworks show.

During the summer, Ana normally is off from work since her work is with the elementary school. Because she did not want to be home all day during the summer, Ana picked up a summer school assignment and was able to pass 5 weeks through work. This worked out very well, because the time between when her primary school location ended school and when the summer school started, we were able to do the trip to Michigan. This adds additional proof of God’s blessings flowing upon us.

Unfortunately, one of the summer school days when Ana had to work was when her cousin Arlene had flown in from Kansas, City Missouri. I stayed home to be with Arlene which was not a big deal. I had met Arlene 15 years ago or more when her husband was in a near fatal crash in Palm Springs. Arlene is a very sweet and loving woman and it was a pleasure to hang out with her. It was extremely loving for Arlene to come and visit exclusively with Ana. And this is what I was talking about with regards to the out of state family. Arlene has been a huge source support for Ana since Jonn’s death and we are very much in debt to her.  When we picked her up from the airport, we took the 5 minute drive over to where the memorial cross is, and we spent some time there in prayer. It was so nice to have family on Ana’s side, spending time with Ana.

Ana’s other cousin Robert, Arlene’s brother, drove in from Indiana with his wife Nancy and daughter Eli. Eli is now enrolled at Azusa Pacific University and they had driven her out here to bring all of her belongings and to get her registered. They spent the night at our house, and once again, it was unfortunate because Ana had to work  the next morning. Not a problem because I stayed home with them to keep them company. They are all good and loving people and I would have stayed home the entire week if they were here that long. Their entire family is so loving and it is s shame that we have such a long distance between us.

It would be wrong of me to not mention Ana's support from her other relatives. Lilly, Arlene and Robert's sister in New Mexico has called Ana, sent her cards and numerous books. Lalo, Ana's cousin from Mexico has been very supportive as well in sending her messages, prayers and overall support.

So Ana is now back at school as well as all of the kids. Robyn is working nearly every day, Michelle is running around all the time because Mia, her youngest is now in pre-school. Kristy is following suit because Mackenzie (almost 3) is in pre-school, swimming lessons, and dance lessons. Paul is busy with his new job and his girls are all growing up faster than one can imagine. 

We enjoy our times together with each of the families, and from an outside view, our lives seem to look perfectly normal. We laugh, have been going to the movies, eating out more than we should, and so life does continue. But there is not a moment where we ever forget Jonn, and there is never a day where nobody cries. We are still filled with the pain of not having Jonn with us in our daily lives, yet we manage to forage ahead.

My next and last entry is just a day or two away. I will conclude my story by discussing a couple of key points for people t o consider with regards to death, grief, support and the future.

For now we are just getting over the last couple of days which have been very difficult for all of us.  I am going to paste below the post that I have made on our R.I.P Jonn Face Book page to show you what we just went through. Please note that we are not stuck in grief. We are living our new lives, but there are some days that are much harder than others.

RIP Jonn Flath

September 9

1 year ago today, at about this same time I am posting this message, Jonn came home from a full day of ROTC. He had been there nearly 16 hours. He told us what he did that day, which included their first run. It was during this run where Jonn experienced dizziness and spots in his vision. He could not complete the run, and it was all attributed by ROTC leadership with either heat exhaustion or dehydration. He never complained of having any pain, just dizziness and spotted vision.

Jonn was a good runner and never experienced problems running. I specifically remember thinking that night that he was more acclimated to running up where we live, which is dry instead of the more humid beach environment. Heat exhaustion seemed plausible to me that night.

This is when the clock started ticking.....

I cannot begin to describe what is going through my mind right now. How I wish that I could turn the clock back exactly one year ago today and ask Jonn specific questions about his run and what he was feeling. I want to know how he was feeling throughout the day, how he was feeling during the first part of his physical fitness training. How long after he stopped running was it until he felt good again.

This was one of only two runs he did at this exact location. Little did I know 1 year ago right now, that Jonn's second run at this exact location, just two weeks later would be the run that took his life............

RIP Jonn Flath

Monday

one year ago today, September 17th 2011, we had an early birthday party for Robyn at our house because Ana and I were going to be in Hawaii for 9 weeks (work).

One year ago today was the last time all of the kids and the grandchildren gathered together: Paul and his family, Kristy and her family, Michelle and her family, Robyn and of course Jonn.

Ana and I were there along with Jonn's grandfather and grandmother (Ana's parents).

I vividly remember thinking that I should have gone out to pick up a blank video tape. I was thinking how it was a great time to record all of the siblings and the nieces together, but I did not want to make the 30 minute trip away from the family to go and get a new video tape. I did not want to leave Ana alone with all of the cooking to be done (I usually do the cooking).

This was also the day when Jonn realized that he was taler than his big brother. He loved that moment and was so proud to show it off.

One year ago today was the last day we were all together as one family, and no video to hold on to. Just the memory….

RIP Jonn Flath

Tuesday

One year ago today, September 18th 2001, 9 days after Jonn experienced the dizziness and spots in his vision while running with he ROTC over at LMU, Jonn and his brother-in-law Luis ran from our house, over to Vasquez Rocks and back. 3.2 miles with 1.6 miles all down hill (running out to the rocks) and 1.6 miles all uphill (running back home). The temperature was in the low 90's that day.

Jonn beat Luis, who is a club soccer player, and in excellent shape. Luis was amazed at how fast Jonn runs, especially with an uphill finish and sprint.

Jonn did not complain about any difficulty running, and this run was much more intense than his flat run of only 1.5 miles with the ROTC unit, 9 days earlier when he had difficulties running.

Why should we be worried about Jonn when he was able to run today without incident. Throughout the past week and leading up to September 23rd, Jonn ran on the tread mill at home, lifted weights, did all of his required PT without any issue.

Jonn was in excellent health....

 

RIP Jonn Flath

Wednesday

One year ago today, September 19th 2011, Ana and I were busy doing our final preparations for our 9 week trip to Hawaii. I actually left the house at 6:30a to rush over to the Office Depot to pick up some presentation folders for work. Upon arrival, I would be meeting with my boss from DC and his boss and I was to give my presentation to them for our 9 week mission.

I returned home around 7:30 and went right back to finalizing the presentation packages. Ana was doing the last minute organizing, we were giving the final instructions to Michelle because she was going to be not only the big sister for Jonn and Robyn while we were gone, she was also going to be the home front guardian for everything. The pool, plants, grass, trash......

The time came for Jonn and Robyn to head off to their classes. I was engrossed with work preparation, but took the time to follow Ana's suit and gave both Robyn and Jonn a big hug good bye.

That morning, September 19th 2011 was the last time we held Jonn and were able to feel his warmth, his heart beating, and see his smile as we both told him that we love him.

That moment was the last time we would ever see our son alive....

From: MARK FLATH  Sent: Wednesday, September 19, 2012 1:38 PMSubject: September 19th - a day to remember

One year ago today, September 19^th 2011, my wife and I were all packed, waiting for the shuttle to take us to the airport for our 9 week trip to Honolulu. While waiting for the shuttle to arrive, our son and daughter came to us and gave us both a long hug, a kiss good bye and we said to each other, I love you Jonn, I love you Robyn. Both replied with I love you mom, I love you too papa. After that, they both walked out the door, smiles all over their face (we get the house alone for 9 weeks) as they headed off to their college classes. Little did we know that that would be the last time we would see our son alive.  Little did we know that that embrace would be our last one with him.  5 days later, our son was taken up to Heaven as my wife and I were in Honolulu, 3000 miles from home. That was the day when our world turned upside down.

From the onset of our son’s death up until now, members of this agency have been very loving, supportive and encouraging. With the help of the team in Honolulu, the Honolulu Office, the Los Angeles Office, to the calls from  the director and everyone else, our family was lifted up and carried through a long dark journey. Throughout our darkness and heavy grief, this agency has been there every step of the way and without this support, I know that my family and I would not be where we are now.

While my heart is very heavy today, I would be a fool if I did not take time out to thank each and every one of you. To those who have reached out, said prayers, extended offers of help, and to the people who have come up to me this past week recognizing this current time frame and our upcoming 1 year memorial date (Sept 23^rd), I cannot express enough how grateful we are for being a part of this agency. Thank you for everything you have done, especially during these past two weeks

I could have sent this message off on Sunday, the 1 year mark of our son’s death, but in reflection of today’s special significance, I have chosen to write this message now.

My wife and I were given a special gift on September 19^th. Under any other condition, my wife nor I would not be giving our kids hugs good bye as they headed off to their college classes. Under any other condition, I would be hours well into the work day. But because we were heading off to Honolulu and were going to be gone for 9 weeks, it was a blessing to have that special moment that day to say good bye.

One never knows when the last day will come upon them, and if I had not been slated for APEC, I would have been home that entire week, and when the 23^rd approached, our son’s day with ROTC would have been like any other day. I would have left home in the early dark hours and our son would be out the door in a whisper. No goodbyes, no hugs, nothing….! We have been given the memory of our last time with our son where we were able to hug him, tell him that we love him and hear in return that he loves us. I could not ask for a better last memory than this.  Today is very emotional for us, but it is filled with the memory of his smile, his words saying I love you too Papa, and the hug and kiss that we gave each other.

With that said, please remember to hug your loved ones, tell them as often as you can how much you love them, because it may be the last thing you ever get to do with them.

Thank you all for the support you have given us over this past year. I hope that someday, I will be able to repay your love and kindness.

Thank you and God Bless

Mark Flath

To: MARK FLATHSubject: RE: September 19th - a day to remember

Mark,

Like many, I was deeply impacted by Jonn’s life without ever even having met him. After his funeral, Justin and I were walking to our cars and could not stop talking about Jonn. We agreed that Jonn was, obviously, the best kind of friend, and a young man any father would be proud to call his son.

I’ve thought about Jonn many times in the past year. About the kind of impact he had in his short time here on earth. When our Son, Hardy, was born two months ago, I remember being at the hospital and thinking about Jonn, and praying that Hardy would grow up to have courage like his.

I am so thankful for the life of Jonn Flath, and feel privileged to have known him in some small way. But I’m even more thankful that he is with his Father now, and that someday you will surely be reunited with him.

Patrick

To: MARK FLATHSubject: RE: September 19th - a day to remember

Mark,

Thank you for your moving story.  Jon’s tragic death was a short time after my twins were born, and it was a very poignant moment in my life as a new father.  I learned a lot about family, love, and what a good father looks like.  I vowed to tell my boys when they are older about your son, and how he lived his life to the fullest.  I never knew him, but he is a role model for my young boys. 

Know that my wife and I will be thinking and praying for your family on this anniversary. 

Zachary

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